About to run out the door but felt compelled to get in a post before driving to NYC for a dance gig (check the dance section of my website to see!) Always fun happenings, happening.
As you get to know me more and more you'll realize that I don't let the factors of the external world outside of these conTEXTual little boxes of.. well... text. (ha, see what I did there) shift my mood, mental wellbeing, and most of all vision.. I want to run out the door, sure, but this website is important to me in its incubation phase. It needs tending to. TLC. attention. all that good shit.
I used to let the outside world dictate my mood and the thoughts in my mind in general and it literally made my life into a roller coaster. Then I quickly realized that running around like a chicken without a head doesn't feel so good. I loved the running around part because it's exciting, but I didn't enjoy the misery that came with the stress. I don't want to be living a life walking on egg shells based on other people or circumstance to make me feel positive, passionate, and focused. It's one thing to be busy and needing to focus your attention on many things in a short span of time - that is called being a high functioning kick ass baller. It's another to think you are busy but just running yourself ragged and fucking yourself over by depleting your natural amazing resources like your mind, body, soul, etc. Which leads to mistakes, which leads to letting yourself and others down, which leads to all that running around being wasted because you have to do things over. Your mental well being is vastly more important than "one more good business deal" Remember that whole idea in the previous post about time being an illusion. This is exactly what I'm talking about. What needs to get done will get done. If you have goals and dreams, you need to start by working on your MINDSET first. How you 'feel' about your busy-ness. Do you ever stop in your stupor of busy-bodiness to check yourself? What thoughts are running through your mind? Do they make you feel good? or completely stressed and tired?
If you think that running faster for the sake of getting to the goal as fast as you can will get you those goals and dreams quicker, go ask the Hare if he won the race. The Hare was a cocky mother fucker that thought because he was "faster" that he would win and get to the goal first and that would make him 'better' not only did he NOT get to the goal first, he made himself sick along the way and didn't enjoy any of the race at all. What is the point of playing a challenging game, if you're not enjoying it even a little?
Don't get me wrong; Every dichotomy in life has a natural rhythm and balance - the Hare could have had CONFIDENCE not COCKINESS and he would have been more graceful. He ran himself ragged and couldn't enjoy the PROCESS of getting to the goal itself.
Yes, it feels good to win, but it's also ok if you lose, but learn. You could always play again. There is no "game over" even in death. Now I'm treading in mucky waters here by bringing one of the most beautiful things in the process of life up and talking about it as so beautiful, but I'm going to be strong in my believe that those who fear death the most are actually the ones who have the biggest problem with time. They don't realize that death is part of a bigger picture CYCLE. We need death for new growth to come in. We need to prune vegetables and plants to have the new ones grow stronger, autumn is the most beautiful season of all next to spring, halloween is one of the most fun holidays. So we subconsciously love death and think it's a wonder, but somewhere along the way grew to be afraid of it for some reason. (I think it has to do with Mind Control and Mental Slavery but we'll get to that in another post for another day)
My focus here in this quick post is the idea that if I'm not enjoying what I am "busy" doing and running around for or there's no solid vision for it, then I'm simply wasting this beautiful experience they call a Life. And with whatever you believe, if this is the only one experience we have, or we get to play again and be another human for another endless array of experiences, I want to know that I experienced THIS version, in THIS moment, the best I could. Otherwise you'll be distracted by that way of being and miss something key that you were running around desperately searching for in the first place. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Do it again. Feel yourself fill up with oxygen, even that concept alone is AMAZING. Realize that, stop taking it for granted because you're too busy focused on bullshit to care.
Life was meant to be lived, so live every second of it, even the seconds you are "busy" doing something. If you can't change what you're doing because it's a rough part of the journey, then become a warrior and learn how to train your mindset into seeing it as an enjoyable one. There is always something to learn, always something to experience. Enjoy it for what it is. No need to complain that there is not enough time. Take the 'time' you need to do the things you want to do, whatever it is you do, if you take action towards something, you already are winning.
If I could slap your ass through the screen I would while saying "Go get um' tiger.... But enjoy the going. not just the getting."